Opposites Attract-Then Repel

There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of
the wise brings healing. - Proverbs 12:18

Quibbles. Quarrels. Squabbles. Conflicts in the home are as normal as breathing.
Our aim shouldn't be to avoid conflict, but to handle it wisely.

One reason people have conflict in marriage is that opposites attract. It's
strange, but that is probably part of the reason why you married who you did.
Your mate added variety, spice and difference to your life. But after being
married for a while (sometimes a short while), the attractions become
repellents.

A typical pairing is the peacemaker and the prizefighter. The peacemaker would
rather hide than fight. The peacemaker says, "It's okay, let's forget it. It
isn't worth the hassle." The prizefighter, meanwhile, says, "Let's put on the
gloves and duke it out."

One husband came from a long line of prizefighters and grew up watching his
whole family rolling up its sleeves and having spirited discussions. The beauty
of it was that they could discuss issues, argue vehemently, and then hang up
their gloves, hug and make up afterwards.

But his wife came from a long line of peacemakers who swept everything under the
rug. They avoided confrontations like the plague. So what kind of a marriage did
these two have? He was chasing her around trying to get her to put on the
gloves, and she was searching for a place to hide.

Unfortunately, their daughter landed between them, trying desperately to bring
her parents together. It took years of counseling to help her come to terms with
the internal conflict she felt.

There's a lot at stake in the way you and your mate handle your conflicts. It's
not just the intimacy in your marriage that's on the line, but the lives of
impressionable sons and daughters as well. The African proverb is chillingly
true: "When the elephants fight, it's the grass that suffers."

Discuss: Are you aware of any opposite traits that attracted you and your mate
to each other? Are the "prizefighter" and "peacemaker" (or other conflict
management styles) apparent in your household?

Pray: That the Prince of Peace will rule in your home.

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Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.
Used with permission. Copyright 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. All
rights reserved.  To purchase the book, visit  ->
http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/detail.asp?id=1170