(Part One)

[Love] does not take into account a wrong suffered. -1 Corinthians 13:5

Although most people get married partly to find intimacy, many couples soon
begin to raise symbols of isolation. The "I do" at the wedding ceremony too
often changes to "No, I won't," and the original openness toward intimacy is
transformed into symbols and signs of isolation.

Here are a few signs I've observed in couples as they experience isolation:

"No Trespassing." Paul and Michelle have worked through several difficult
problems during their 25-year marriage. They are considered by many to have a
model marriage. But over the years they have become alienated from one another
because of an unsatisfying sex life. Too proud to seek counsel, they find they
can't discuss the subject anymore. They have declared that area off limits.

The ticking clock. Near retirement, Ben and Mary have raised their family and
are proud of their new grandchildren. Their marriage of 35 years has withstood
time, but silence has now crept into their relationship. They don't know how to
talk to each other because for so many years they focused their lives on their
children. Now any relationship they once had is replaced by silence, broken only
by the occasional squeak of a rocking chair and the tick, tick, tick of a clock.

The crowded calendar. Steve and Angela are both aggressive professionals,
actively involved in civic responsibilities and their church. But ever since
they started their family, they've noticed a difference in their marriage. Gone
are the walks and late-night talks they used to enjoy. They're too whipped-they
now live for the weekends. Fatigue is taking its toll and neither has energy
left over for romance.


Discuss: How about prayerfully discussing an area that has been declared off limits with your mate? Pray first. Resist blame and defensiveness.

Pray: Ask God to help you understand your spouse's perspective of the situation you're discussing. If you have no issues, give thanks to God that you don't!

---
Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.
Used with permission. Copyright 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. All
rights reserved.  To purchase the book, visit  ->
http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/detail.asp?id=1170

(Part Two)

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in
honor.  -Romans 12:10

As I said in the preceding devotion: When isolation appears in a marriage, it is
symbolized by certain examples or signs. Here are a few more I've observed.

The locked door. Bill and Teresa have only been married for six months, but they
have already hurt each other deeply. Their dreams and hopes of intimacy are
already fading in the darkness behind locked doors where they have withdrawn.
Bill was able to open up during the engagement, but now he finds it difficult to
share his feelings. Teresa craves intimacy and desperately wants to be his
partner in life. She can't get in, and he won't come out.

Excess baggage. Because both Bob and Jan came from broken homes, they were
determined their marriage would be different. Although they have talked about
their parents' divorces, neither has grasped the impact the breakups had on
them. Without the model of a good marriage embedded in their minds, they are
unaware of how much excess baggage they carry.

The TV dinner. Walter and Jeanne both work some distance from their suburban
home, so when they arrive home they have fought rush-hour traffic after a long
workday. They collapse in front of the television, eating TV dinners while
watching the weekly sitcoms.

Their five-year marriage isn't in trouble, but later, after they start having
children, she'll feel she's become a widow to a seasonal selection of football,
baseball and basketball, not to mention his hobbies of golf, fishing and
hunting. She's lonely. And he doesn't even know it.



Discuss: Do any of the signs and symbols here or in the preceding devotional fit
your lives? If so, how can you begin to lower these barriers? If not, talk about
what you're doing right to protect your marriage from isolation.

Pray: That you and your mate will guard and protect your relationship from
isolation.

---
Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.
Used with permission. Copyright 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. All
rights reserved.  To purchase the book, visit  ->
http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/detail.asp?id=1170

THE BAPTIST CHURCH OF ALL NATIONS - Rev. Luz Celeniar Tirado, Senior Pastor

61 Winthrop Street  ~ Taunton, MA 02780

(508) 822-3454  ~  Fax:  (508) 821-3147

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"And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch."   -  Mark 13:37